Published in Next Magazine, February 18, 2011.
"Sink or Swim"
by Jeff Kagan
Tim Maxwell is a typical 21-year old gay man. A college senior at Pace University, majoring in Communication Arts, with a minor in the thirst-quenching activities deemed legal at his age, he lives his life day by day, going to classes, studying and working as an intern for Details Magazine.
This is life now. But four years ago, life was even easier. Growing up in North Jersey, Tim had fewer responsibilities and more time to do the things he loved, specifically, swimming. “My parents made sure my brother and I were very active in sports growing up. I started swimming at age 6 and I’ve been doing it ever since. At times it seemed like I was in the water more than I was on land.”
His mom and dad would travel as far as Bayonne, cheering him on at almost every swim meet. Tim recalls the Northern New Jersey Interscholastic League meet, “In the middle of crowd, I could see my parents screaming my name and the ear-to-ear smile on my mom’s face. That was just the motivation I needed to pull ahead and win.” Their support seems to have helped as Tim placed 9th out of 40 in the 200-meter medley (a combination of four different swimming styles into one race).
After starting college Tim took a hiatus from swimming simply because he didn’t have the time, but now that he’s in the final stretch, he’s ready to jump back into it with the help of Team New York Aquatics (TNYA), the gay & lesbian swimming club. “This is such a great group of people. The level of respect and camaraderie amongst the members immediately made me feel comfortable and welcome. I felt like I was part of a team from the first day.”
Tim went to his first workout with TNYA and expected to start where he left off four years ago but he was quickly reminded that his body wasn’t in the same shape that it was four years earlier. He’s not wet behind the ears (so to speak), but he’s no Michael Phelps just yet. He’s back in the pool, and that’s what counts.
Drills and workouts are not the only hurdle Tim is facing now. He has a greater and more personal goal, and this one isn’t as easy as swimming a few laps. Tim is planning to come out to his parents. His greatest fear, as is anyone’s, is the fear of the unknown. He worries if his parents will be as supportive and loving when they learn the secret that Tim’s been keeping for so long. “The actual process of coming out scares me the most. I’ve pretended to be a certain person all my life. I know they love me and wouldn’t turn me away, but I don’t want them to think any differently of me.”
When the time is right, Tim will have that talk with his parents, and he will take his first big steps out of that closet, to live his life openly and proudly. In the meantime, with the help of Team New York Aquatics, he’s building up a medley of new friends who will give him the support he needs. And hopefully, when this is all over, he might even let his parents read this article.
Quickies
Green Velvet: The NY Gay Pool League has just wrapped up its 26th regular season, and is about to start the playoffs! Eagle is in 1st place, Boxers in 2nd, Amsterdam Billiards in 3rd. Follow the action at www.nygpl.org.
Singlet Wedgies: Here are the results of the Metro Gay Wrestling Annual Freestyle Tournament on January 16, 2011: Lightweights: Carl Weisbecker (1st); Nick Zymaris (2nd); Rick Van Tassel (3rd); Middleweights: Mark Evans (1st); Kris Burrell (2nd); Manuel Cruz (3rd); Heavyweights: Gary Baker (1st); Mike Simone (2nd). Nice pins!
Around the Rim: Team NYCGBL wins their division trophy the Sin City Shoot-Out Gay Basketball Tournament on MLK Weekend in Las Vegas. Congrats to round-ballers Mike Ashburn, Jeremie Knight, Antonio Hicks, Michael Davis, Gregory Springs, Matt Welton, Ric Firmino, Andrew Johnstone and Captain Mike Kokell. Honorable mention to the Empire State Ballers for a great effort.
Athlete’s Foot: Front Runners New York congratulates all its 2010 award winners, including David Lin (Front Runner of the Year), Rachel Cutler (Guy Zelenak Memorial Volunteer of the Year), and Inger-Jo Berger (A.R.E.A. Lifetime Achievement Award Winner). See a complete list of winners at http://frny.org/members/awardwinners.php.
Playing with Big Balls: The Big Apple Softball League will be holding two drafts for new players of any gender and all playing abilities in both open and women's divisions on March 26 and April 2. Details will be posted at http://bigapplesoftball.com/join.cfm.
